As I create and listen I will be led.

 The Artist Way Creative Affirmation #3.

I recently joined the Great Big Stitched Postcard Swap.  It arrived in my inbox.  I listened.  I created.  And I found bliss.

This little ditty first arrived in my inbox in February.  It was simple and free and fun.  The project consisted of making a postcard using the theme "create", incorporating some stitching.  Once I signed up, The Do What you Love staff then matched me with a person to swap cards.

The the whispers said, "Why not?  This is a sweet little project that I can do.  Maybe it will jumpstart the creative force inside me."  So I listened.  In an instant I signed up for the swap figuring I had lots of time to think of the perfect idea and to complete the perfect little card.

Then a few days later I received my postcard swap match and the dreaded DEADLINE...early March. Yikes!  Where did February go?  The gremlins laughed..."What were you thinking?  You don't have time for this.  The theme...Create...Ha!  How long will it take you to find that perfect idea...to create that perfect idea?  You will never finish!"

So...  I fought the gremlins.
I pulled out the Artist Way Affirmations and searched for one that spoke to me louder than the gremlins.  "As I create and listen I will be led."
I typed the words on Grace's vintage green Smith Corona with the hope of calling them into being.  I played.  Who knew that the sweet pink Starbuck's coffee sleeve I saved the other day would come in handy?  It was quickly transformed into birds that would help me take flight.  I pulled out my Janome and some turquoise thread and discovered a sweet floral stitch.  I played with my machine, and tiny treasures scattered throughout my art room.  I created.  And I finished!

So now off she goes in the mail to Florida!  Whoo Hoo!  Goodnight Gremlins!  As I create and listen I will be led!

"My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me." 
- John 10:27

About Time

It's been a long time since I watched a movie that I truly enjoyed.  LOVED this one...

I watched About Time the other day
for the first time
and then
"the second time...noticing".
I am determined
"to try to live every day
as if it was the final day
of my  extraordinary ordinary life".
It's about time!

Rachel McAdams, if your reading this...and if my ordinary life every becomes a movie...will you please play my part?

The Secret Life of Bees

Playing with bees...

I am willing to learn to let myself create...

“I hadn't been out to the hives before, so to start off she gave me a lesson in what she called 'bee yard etiquette'. She reminded me that the world was really one bee yard, and the same rules work fine in both places. Don't be afraid, as no life-loving bee wants to sting you. Still, don't be an idiot; wear long sleeves and pants. Don't swat. Don't even think about swatting. If you feel angry, whistle. Anger agitates while whistling melts a bee's temper. Act like you know what you're doing, even if you don't. Above all, send the bees love. 

Every little thing wants to be loved.” 

― Sue Monk Kidd, The Secret Life of Bees

-artwork by Lisa Cousins

Creative Affirmations #16

Sometimes you have to start small. I made this little trading card size piece of art some time ago.  "I am willing to learn to let myself CREATE."  -Julia Cameron's Artist Way Creative Affirmation #16.  I am ready to play!  I want to create something!  I want to make more of these little babies!

Showing up...

my words for the week..."show up".
so often i don't show up because i'm waiting for the inspiration.
but now i don't show up because inspiration is fluttering all about my head and my heart.
i sit to write a post and i don't know where one thought starts and another ends.
words pour forth in no formation.
instead i abandon to the laundry room of lights and darks.
or venture to the world of unfinished projects.
i want to tell the world about how last year's word COLOR opened my eyes to adventure.
i want to tell the world how this year's word HAPPY smiled at me.
i want to share how i'm following the little birds and their whispers of truths into my soul
and how it all feels like mystical magic and the sprinkling of fairy dust.
and how my heart tells me it's the Holy Spirit pursuing little ol' me.
and how i wonder why me? who am i to be pursued?
and how He whispers, "because you are fearfully and wonderfully made. isn't that what you tell your daughters?"

so today i'm obedient to His whispers.
i'm showing up for just a moment.
i'm trusting that all the words will form in perfect bird formation
in His time.

"The words that I speak unto you, they are spirit and they are life." -John 6:63

-Word of God Speak, Mercy Me ♫

Finding My Gold

following the whispers again

this time the whispers of "gold"

at mass monsignor talks of bringing our gifts to Jesus

our gold, our frankincense, and our myrrh 

... finding your gold...your gifts, given to you by God, 
to be given back to Him.

what is my gold i wonder?

and then he says the words from the pulpit, 

"maybe it is your creativity..."

i ponder the golden nuggets 

they stick like glitter upon my face 

after an afternoon of Christmas wrapping

Vein of Gold: A Journey to Your Creative Heart

my quest for the season

i gather with my creative cluster

and begin to dig deep for my gold

Apples of Gold:

"words fitly spoken 

are like apples of gold

in pictures of silver." 

this proverb makes her presence known

from this golden book practically jumping off the shelf 

at my favorite gold and green bookstore 

words inspiring me 

to gather apples of gold for our teachers

rolling each blessing by hand

"canning" them into mason jars

with lids of silver

then He whispers again

"wrap each jar with a thread of gold."

seriously?  is that you God?

or me, obsessing again over details

i'm obedient.

i listen.

i tie each jar with a golden thread.

not knowing why

praying for each name

tagged to each jar.

still pondering what my gold could be

i look up at an unfinished painting

of three keys

hanging by golden threads

and I feel the silent whispers again in my soul

"complete her"

"add a white lace dove"

"be brave"

"donate your gold"

"Vein of Gold: Keys to the Kingdom"

comes to life

to the online charity auction she goes

and now i ponder

its mystery

vulnerability screams

drowns out the whispers

as i watch and wait for bids

why did i bother?

i could have written a check, Lord

with a pen of golden ink

did I hear you wrong?

does any of this matter?

these little things i do

smaller than a golden thread

i look out the window

a monday morning traffic accident

stikes an iron victorian lamp post

and brings havoc to our little village

a golden ball

catches my eye

she used to sit proudly 

upon her post

now she lies broken in the street

how will they remember me?

and i look for the golden sun.

Lord Jesus, You came to the earth

as a vulnerable child

your mama held you tight

what did she whisper in your ear?

let it be your whispers i hear

deep within my soul

open my eyes to see 

and my heart to feel 

the warmth of your rays

please shine upon my gold.

-Fields of Gold, Sting ♫

Dear Alice - A Letter to My Daughter

-photo captured by Heidi Lynne Photography

Dear Alice,

I miss you since you fell south into that rabbit hole.  Things just aren’t quite the same around here.  Where is that girl with her head always lost in a book?  Where is that girl perched upon her stool by the window with a cup of tea and stories to tell?  Off on an adventure are you?  Following a dream?

There will be many signs leading you every which way.  I’m quite certain of that.  Which way will you go?  

        Follow The Way.  And everything will be okay.

Remember who you are.   Look in the mirror.  See that girl.  Fearfully and wonderfully made.   See yourself as who you want to be.  No matter how small or tall you feel on any given day, find the spirit within you.  What is it telling you?  Remember who you are.

Listen for His voice.  You will hear other voices too.  Be wary.  “Follow your heart?” Oh wise one...beware of this voice.  For hearts sometimes lead us astray, right into the queen of hearts trap.  Guard your heart, my girl.  Put on your pure white apron of armor.  Keep it pure.  Remember your values, the lessons of obedience by the big copper beech tree.  They were written and  told not to bore you or to keep you from experiencing joy.  They were written so that you can experience true joy at God’s appointed time.  Don’t be in a rush to be a grown up too fast too soon.  Hold fast to your innocence.  It’s a priceless treasured gift. 

How old is your soul, Lou Lou?  You are but the experiencer of the heart.  You see and you feel its energy. Keep your heart wide open.  Let those experiences run through you, the good and the bad.  Don’t dwell on the bad or cling too long to the good.  If they linger too long you will miss the present moments right in front of you.  Be present.  It is there that you will hear His voice and know which way to move forward.

Be wise dear one. Enjoy this new found freedom and exploration of trying on many hats (and shoes) of different sizes, shapes, and styles. But caution.  “Eat me. Drink me.” notes are all over the place in that new wonderland.  You will become curious and curiouser.  They will make you feel as if you are from a different world.  Perhaps braver or happier at first.  But they can make you do things that you could regret later. “If you drink much from a bottle marked ‘poison’ it is almost certain to disagree with you, sooner or later.”  Make good choices. 

Keep your eyes wide open.  You will meet some strange characters as you already have.  A quirky girl with a ring of Saturn that spins and glows in the night while you try to sleep.  A man with eyes so bright.  They speak to your soul,  telling you,  "You are going places." Every interruption in your day is an opportunity for a Divine encounter.  Look for their messages.  Ask who you are to bless.  Ask what lesson there is for you to learn or what lesson there is for you to teach.   Again make good choices.  They determine the places you go, not to mention where you wake up.

Find gratitude in each cup half full.  Take time to daydream over a cup of java.  It is there that you will find inspiration.  It is there that you will find kindred spirits.

You have drawn fruit that reflects God’s light for all to see.  Now be the good fruit of the Spirit, sharing your good gifts.  Let your light shine for all to see.  Be authentic.  Don’t let anybody knock over your fruit bowl.  

Pray.  That is where you will find the strength to persevere. “Believe in six impossible things before breakfast.”  Go to church.  Look up at the light coming through the stained glass windows.  Let the colors penetrate your soul.

My dear, God has dreams for your life, plans to prosper you, to give you hope and a future.  Follow His dreams for your life with passion.  And listen carefully for His voice when he tells you to wake up at 7:05.  Waking up from a dream within a dream is a feat in itself.  Get a good night’s sleep.  Then hear the whisper of "Talitha Koum".

Pay attention.  Be alert.  Is your body off kilter?  Do you have an anxious heart?  Your body may be telling you that there is something not right with your soul.  Talk to Jesus.  Make it right.  Put the butterflies fluttering about your tummy in formation so you can soar.

I hope you find comfort knowing that mom and dad and sisters are cheering for you as you paint the roses and many a masterpiece.  I am confident that when you leave your little wonderland and find your way back home to your castle, Wonderland will be better because of you.

Everything will be okay.  Never fear.  When you stumble down a wrong path or enter into a wrong door God will give you a way out.  He will leave you a key.  He will give you His hand and pick you back up if you will just reach out and grab it.  He wants you to be a featured character in his story.  Will you say yes to Him?

Call home often.  Your mom enjoys a good story and looks forward to the next chapter about how her little girl woke up and saw the sun.  Oh be happy, little girl.    Even though your soul is growing and maturing, always keep a piece of that little girl close tight in your locket.  Remember that confident, courageous, funny, delightful. little girl that captured her own share of hearts with the words, “I woke up.”  BE that happy little girl.

Love,

Mom

“Good advice. If I listened earlier, I wouldn’t be here. 

But that’s just the trouble with me. 

I give myself very good advice, but I very seldom follow it.”

-and she is off... chasing dreams & learning her lessons well in her southern wonderland of art school. while Mama learns the lessons of letting her go and trusting that God's got it 24/7.  


-I Won't Give Up, Jason Mraz ♫

Happy Girl

May came and went in all its scurry.  It was filled to the brim with birthdays, anniversary, prom, track meets, spring musical, banquets, appreciation and celebration festivities.  May brought green and growth.  It begged for me to stop and take notice of her glory.

And on this May day
in the midst of prom prep,
in the midst of unloading the college girl stash for the summer,
in the midst of kid drop off and pick ups to friends
in busy graduation day weekend traffic,
in a moment,
through the eye of a camera during prom pics, 
I somehow
captured what its all about. 
I found my pure joy. 
It's God's greatest gifts to me...
my happy girls. 

"Let the axis twirl, I'm a happy girl." 

-Happy Girl, Martina McBride ♫

Bring back the Giggles...

What happened to the Lipton Giggle Noodle Soup?  Went out today to pick up some comfort food for my sick kiddo.  Remembering the days of being home sick and mom giving me cinnamon sugar toast for breakfast, ginger-ale to drink, Giggles soup and saltines for lunch.  Lipton, please bring back the GIGGLES!
 - Colors of the Rainbow, DJ Skeptyk  ♫

I SO want to do this!

(*pause my playlist before watching)

 

TheColorRun.com

Beyond the Lights and Darks...

Committing  to creating something everyday is one thing.  Facing the blank page is another.  It's a white canvas that stares you back in the face.
How easy it is to ignore her and face the laundry instead.  I find myself sorting the piles into lights and darks.  I wonder, where have the colors gone?  The light blue t-shirt...ah close enough to white.  The bright orange blouse...ah darks it is.  In an effort to save on a load, I suppose,  the colors get all jumbled up with lights and darks.  No place of their own.
And I wonder what is beyond these piles.  I will never know if I don't face the white canvas.  She's calling me, but I don't know where to begin.
I close my eyes and whisper a prayer for inspiration.
Inspiration...breathed upon.
God  breathes.  Imagination stirs.

 This week I faced the canvas.  I squeezed fresh colors out of the tube and picked up the brush.  She's not finished yet.  It's a start.

40 Days of Something Beautiful...

"Let us do something beautiful for God." -Mother Teresa

  The Artist's Way Basic Principle # 5
 

"Creativity is God's gift to us. 

Using our creativity is our gift back to God."  

Let me do something creative everyday for 40 days.
Let me walk each day, enjoying the beautiful.
Let me capture the beautiful with the camera. 
Let me create something out of nothing.
Nothing is too small, too simple, or too silly.
Let me find 40 days of color.

"As I open myself to the divine creative energy which flows through me, I am both the prayer and its answer." -Blessings, Julia Cameron

I also decided to give up Diet Coke for the 40 days of Lent. 
And then I pull up behind this truck...

"Every day's a start of something beautiful."
All We Are - Matt Nathanson ♫

Dream With Me... my graceful bee.

 Some time ago I wrote this post. 

     "how cool would it be to one day feature gracey's blog in this magazine?  remembering the day we sat together and began the adventure of creating it."
  

  COOL showed up in my inbox one November evening, with an email from the editor of Stampington magazine, wanting to know if Grace and I would like to write an article to be published in their winter issue of Create with Me.

  If only words could capture the excitement Grace and I felt.  Grace skipped off to bed beaming.  I thought I'd pee my pants.  They needed the article in four days!  It's one thing to dream, but when the dream is right in front of you, it's another thing to catch it.

  The next morning I found my inspiration in this treasure scribbled in Grace's bedside notebook. 

“My blog is a canvas to my thoughts.

It is my very own art museum,

showing the world what I have. 

It is memories and ideas that others can relate to and cherish.

I have notebooks scattered around my room,

 page after page filled with my mind’s undiscovered words. 

My blog is a new page to my notebook.”

 And the magazine arrives in the mail!

And we make a trip to Barnes & Noble to see it on the newsstand for ourselves...

 

Yay!!!

- Colors, April Smith and the Great Picture Show ♫

New Green shoes...

Love these green shoes!  $7.98 at Ross's.  I have no idea why I had to have them.  They look like something out of Christmas Whoville.  So ugly they are cute? My daughters beg to differ.  :)

I have a friend who is fascinated with color therapy.  Earlier this year I got the dreaded call back...breast cyst found on my mammogram.  All is well.  But I freaked out a bit.  I pulled a healing book off my shelf and searched "problems with breasts"..."over-mothering, over-protection"...  ugh... I had been a complete mess with letting go of daughter number one.  My color therapy friend said to surround myself with the color green...which symbolizes nourishment and growth.  I put a plant by the kitchen sink.  I ate on green dishes.  I bought a green pillow.  I drank green tea.  I wore my daughter's green bracelet.  I did everything but eat green eggs and ham.  I focused on the color green as a reminder for me to pray, asking God to help me let go and embrace the "what's next". 

Fast forward...all is well.  The cyst has been aspirated.  And my girl is doing well at college.  I miss her, but she came home from Christmas break a sweet woman.  We both grew.  I can see now that I was holding on too tight while she was trying to pull away.  Anyway, today I put on my new green velvet shoes and I feel rich.  They sum up my year.  

I let go and I'm okay.

-New Shoes, Paolo Nutini ♫

Color...Word for 2012

My word for 2012 is color.  

Other words fight for their place...

discover, explore, journey, keys...

but color takes lead.  

I can discover color's healing. 

I can explore color on a canvas. 

I can take in all the world's beautiful colors on the journey.  

On that journey 

I will find keys 

that open doors 

to undiscovered rooms 

that just may need 

a pop of  color!

Thank you 2011, for allowing me to dream.

This year I'm dreaming in color!

-Color on the Walls (Don't Stop), Foster the People ♫

Merry Christmas!

-Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas, Judy Garland ♫

Gratitude...

"A faithful friend is a sturdy shelter; he who finds one finds a treasure." 

--Sirach 6:14

Gratitude for the sugar and spice in my life... all the girls young and young at heart.  gratitude for my grandmas.  one gave me the gift of faith.  one mothered me with her gentle spirit when my own mother moved away.  gratitude for my mothers.  one gave me life and love.  one welcomed  another daughter into her family.   gratitude for my daughters who completed my dream.  gratitude for my sister who understands completely on those days when living the dream is not so dreamy.  gratitude for sisters-in-law who became my family and my friends.  gratitude for my friends who encourage me to keep dreaming.

Sturdy shelter...made of rubies and jewels...
my friend who encourages me to write.  my friend who doesn't look at me like i have four heads when i tell her words are whispering to me.  my friend, who interprets my dreams.  my friend, who understands my shortcomings and loves me anyway.  my friend who sees me not only as who i am but who i want to be.  i don't know what i would do without the treasured sugar and spice in my life.  they are my soul sisters.
they are my home.

p.s.  oh and what would a home be without some snips and snails and puppy dog tails.  :)

-Home, Edward Sharpe & The Magnetic Zeros ♫

Happy Belated Birthday, Louisa.

A little over a year ago I wrote  this post.  It was my very first post on this little blog.  It was a day I decided to play and discover this whole new world of blogging.
I admired so many creative blogs.  There was one particular artist that drew me in with not only her beautiful mixed media paintings, but with the words in her book.  Her words affirmed that the whispering words that I felt to be following me, were words encouraging me to take flight on my journey.  I wasn't going crazy.  This was how it was for her too.  I found myself stalking her older posts...fascinated with her journey on becoming an artist.  I wondered if I could one day create and inspire.  I wondered if this was what the whispering words were saying..."Come follow me."
I kept asking..."But what am I to do?"  I kept waiting for the inspiration.
But then I thought about the root of why I was so fascinated with this artist...aha...the journey!  That is when I decided to just go for it and blog the journey.  Just maybe along the way, I would find something.
My kids tease me..."So Mom, have you found Louisa yet?" :)
I suppose I'm still searching her.  But to date, here is what I found over the past year...
I've found sanctuary during the summer months of morning devotion on my porch...and I found that this is what I want to bring into my home for the winter months.  I still get overwhelmed with where to start.  But I've found that if I start small, like cleaning out a closet or making a new pillow, little by little a room can be transformed.
I'm finding my voice.  I've found that through writing, the thoughts in my head, that come out all jumbled when I speak, actually settle comfortably on a page.  
I'm finding courage in taking a leap to share this blog with just a few choice friends.  I haven't discovered how to not worry about what they'll think of me, or how to actually believe them when they tell me they liked a post.  But little by little I gain a bit more confidence.
I'm finding kindred spirits.  I've found that when I take leaps on my creative journey, God sends me kindred spirits.  Synchronicity meets me at the poolside and brings me a friend who read the same book that wowed me.  It meets me in my inbox with a friend who wants to take a painting class.  It meets me in a conversation about a new Artist's Way sacred circle forming in town.  It meets me in the answered invisible prayers for a friend.
I've found that I have a quiet and gentle soul who is so excited to be nourished.  For so long I ignored her because I was afraid of what they would think of me.  When I take her by the hand and play I discover a new part of me that is free to do anything.
And in doing all this I've found that my inner child wants to be seen.  She wants people to take notice.  "Mommy, look at me.  Look at what I made."  "Daddy, do I look pretty?"  My inner child loves to play, but she sometimes has difficulty knowing just how to do that.
I've found that I'm living my dream.  When I was little all I really ever wanted to do was to become a wife and mother.  I would sit and draw my plain little yellow house, adding a porch with all the gingerbread trimmings.  Today I'm living in my big yellow house with many porches, with my handsome prince and my little princesses.
I'm finding that change is good.  Dreaming never stops.
I'm finding the joy of possibility...anything is possible with God.
Good Golly, I learned to run more that 3 minutes at a time without dying!  :)
Feeling like an artist imposter, I signed up anyway, for a group forming to discuss and journey through the book, The Artist's Way.  A year ago I would have never sat in a room full of strangers pretending discovering how to be an artist. 
I took an abstract painting class...totally out of my comfort zone.  The class ended with a dreaded critique.  My painting was horrible.  The experienced folks were very kind to this new soul.  I walked home with my horrible painting by my side and with a smile on face.  I was okay.
I am okay.  This is what I've found.  I am enough...today...a mother discovering what's next...a dreamer...a wanna be runner...a wanna be artist...a new soul fluttering about, finding her way.


-I love the little circle of light in the hot air balloon, that appeared in this  photo.  I call it, My Soul Taking Flight.

-New Soul, Yael Naim ♫

Fancy Friday - Mustard

"If you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there' and it will move.'  Nothing will be impossible for you." - Matthew 17:20

-Yellow, Coldplay ♫

Today is Fancy Friday over at The Lovefeast Table.  The theme...Mustard...cause their lovin' the color this fall.  I'm lovin' the color too!  Here are pops of mustard in my kitchen.

Our kitchen mascot, the rooster.  Shh...don't tell big yellow.  He thinks he is.
 

 Okay...she's not yellow, but how can you leave out that face?